Slow and Steady...

Here it is, the 9^th of January and I’m already having flashes of feeling overwhelmed.  I want to hold onto the feeling of peace and clarity I achieved over the winter vacation.  Maybe I’m crazy for thinking this feeling can hold on for more than the length of a holiday but that is one of my hopes. 

One of the images that kept coming up in my vision board exercise was that of a single chair.  This concerned me because my counselling practice is about meeting with people and growing relationships.  I feared that the single chair meant a solitary existence and no growth.  Now I am thinking it may mean that I need to have solitary time to regroup and regenerate so that I can do the work in the way I want. 

This – my year of connectivity – also brings with it my concerns about feeling overwhelmed by information.  All the methods of connecting with people on the internet which I’m very excited about – Facebook, blogging, LinkedIn etc. can also leave me feeling like I’m in a pinball machine, bouncing from one person to another.  When my phone beeps at me I feel inclined to respond and sometimes it isn’t at the most convenient time.  I need to learn how to manage my media and my time.

I also find the demands of my life to be time-consuming these days.  With three children, a husband and aging parents, there is always someone or something that needs my attention.  And that doesn’t even include work.  I find the constant shifting gears between facets of my life taxing as well. 

All the more reason to have some time to myself.  And all the more reason that it’s hard to find that time! 

I have learned that I am someone who is more the tortoise than the hare.  I don’t do fast and furious.  I get to feeling overwhelmed very quickly when I take the fast route.  When I can be slow and steady I have more time to take in what’s around me, read the signs and respond the way I want.  The trick for me is in creating the time (because it isn’t there if I don’t create it) to live the way that works for me.  I also find it hard because it seems to me that so many people thrive on the fast life that is everywhere.  I often feel inadequate because I can’t or don’t want to keep up.  I am relearning that I need to disregard the fact that others can do what I cannot.  It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t change me.  And the more I respect who I am and the less I try to be someone I am not, the further ahead I am – even at my slow and steady pace.