beautiful boy

I just finished reading beautiful boy by David Sheff www.davidsheff.com .  It is the story of ‘a father’s journey through his son’s addiction’.  Such a powerful read.  A well-written chronicle of a father’s story.  Mr. Sheff describes his love for his son and how amazing his son, Nic, is. He chronicles Nic’s upbringing and its ups and downs.  As a parent it is very relatable.  The description of Nic’s childhood is followed by Nic’s descent into drug use and his father’s chronicle of how the drugs steal Nic away.  What struck me is how I could really feel the before and after, the changes in Nic with his drug use, all the while still aware of him being a lovable person underneath it all.  It is too easy to see ‘drug addicts’ as only that and not to remember ‘they’ are people too.  People with addictions do some terrible, painful things and it is sometimes necessary to emotionally separate what they do from who they are.  The addicts themselves don’t make it easy because so much of who they are is masked by the drug that takes them over. 

The book is full of literary, music and movie references which appeal to my interests and help fill out the picture of Nic and his Dad and their connection through the Arts.

I found my stomach in knots on multiple occasions throughout the book; for my greatest fear is that one of my children could become an addict or alcoholic.  I know that seems like a ridiculous waste of time to worry about something like that.  However, my family is littered with alcoholics and people with mental health issues and I fear it for my children.  I have spent most of my life learning about addiction and mental health and I feel I dodged a bullet myself.  I try to educate my children about substances and their potential influence over people.  I have told them they are at a higher risk because of our family issues.  I hope that is enough. 

I wonder if my worries are a waste of time.  Maybe it will be something else that derails my children’s lives.  Maybe there won’t be any derailment and I’ll have wasted my time worrying.  Let’s hope so. 

I have just picked up Nic’s book, Tweak, reflecting the same period of time but from Nic's perspective.  I will let you know how it goes. 

David Sheff has a new book coming out April 2, 2013 entitled, Clean: overcoming addiction and ending America’s greatest tragedy.